"It aint my railroad Sonny Jim"

The cream of the crop from the JayBee Players Ensemble gather at the train station late this evening to catch the last train to Clarkville.  Conductor Jonas Davey nervously glances at his pocket watch and calls out "make no hesitation.....don't be slow" to the tardy arrivals.  He had arrived just moments earlier himself, racing from home in his custom GTO after a colleague had called in sick at the last moment.  Being a noted stickler for promptness, Davey will stand for no monkee business during the boarding stage.  The air is electric with excitement and surprise as the stars of JayBee Productions recognize one another and begin to understand that they all have been requested, as nominees in various categories, to attend the prestigious 2023 Figurine Awards ceremony at the luxurious Barry Manor.  Basil Bowler, always impeccably dressed and well mannered, nods politely to leadfoot Guido The Guide, who has just arrived in a tow truck with his suspension damaged '36 Ford on the hook after careening through a ditch en route.  The gender neutral Crosby twins David and Bowie enjoying the warm backlighting,  stare eerily and expressionless from the baggage car, electing to ride independent of the others with whom they find no commonality.  Alice arrives in her beloved Ford Woody, driven by her harried chauffer, handler and alcohol counsellor Justin Spritzer.  Not surprisingly Alice is once again well in her cups this evening, having drained several whiskey flasks en route. The drunken diva animatedly calls out greetings to her fellow stars while stumbling toward the platform.  Spotting a Cadillac limousine parked beside the waiting train, Alice fails to recognize that it is in fact bearing bronze emblems identifying it as the royal car of special invited guest and JayBee Productions financier, Japanese Emperor To Kio.  Mistaking it for a taxi, the stuporous starlet snaps her fingers and in a slurred voice orders royal chauffeur Won Hung Lo to grab her bags and take her to see JayBee.  Recoiling in horror, Spritzer rushes towards Alice, recalling the last time a similar scenario occurred here; which resulted in Alice stumbling and knocking herself out cold on a car bumper.  Receiving a warning gesture from Spritzer, Lo quickly and discreetly approaches Alice and distracts her with conversation enabling Spritzer to intervene and save JayBee Productions from a major political embarrassment.  Uttering a confused protest Alice is quietly shuffled off to a separate rail car to sleep it off.  Meanwhile local piggery operator Andy Capp unsnaps the leash on Arnold Ziffel Jr., telling him to go find the livestock car and settle in for the ride.  With an arrogant oink of resentment Arnold trots to the loading platform, mumbling that this entitled crowd is damned lucky he has a thick skin  but that things are going to be different after he ascends the podium to receive his award.

@jack-dodds .........how DID I miss all of that during the assemblage and posting of my sad train demise?

..........prolific narration Jack.....if I still had all my monkeys,in a sober state,and if they each tapped incessantly on their personally chosen word processors,they could not come anywhere close to your level of production

@jack-dodds One question Jack, did Alice share her libation with you?

no doubt,Jack will make an appearance equipped with the CORRECT answer Bob......in the meantime as is Alice`s wont,she doesn`t really lean into that whole "sharing" business so much anymore

Posted by: @bob-jackman

@jack-dodds One question Jack, did Alice share her libation with you?

I'd run the other way from that terrifying tippling tart, Bob.

Posted by: @john-barry

@jack-dodds .........how DID I miss all of that during the assemblage and posting of my sad train demise?

..........prolific narration Jack.....if I still had all my monkeys,in a sober state,and if they each tapped incessantly on their personally chosen word processors,they could not come anywhere close to your level of production

 

I would be their uncle if they didn't eclipse my effort in a 15 minute sitting JayBee.

@jack-dodds ......cool beans Uncle Jack......maybe you`re ALREADY their uncle.....I`m sending several of the less-lethal ones out your way.....you`ll wanna pick up some of those lineman`s thick leather gloves..........just in case

@jack-dodds Two superb scripts today, Jack.

@john-barry I wish you had warned me earlier about the gloves JayBee.  After the doc is done with the stitches I'm readdressing  them to 4th and Vine.

@jack-dodds ...........oh yeah...........that`s good ..................or just let `em go a few streets over....sticking with "Vine" as a cross-street......left to their own devices,in the wild,they`ll soon achieve Alpha Predator status and you`ll be good to go

Posted by: @charles-rockett

@jack-dodds Two superb scripts today, Jack.

More inane ramblings from Doc Schlock....in spite of the multi-page petition to cease and desist.   

In a more serious vein though, I do in fact  benefit from them.  I print multiple copies, fold once and line my bird cage.   

Posted by: @john-barry

@jack-dodds ...........oh yeah...........that`s good ..................or just let `em go a few streets over....sticking with "Vine" as a cross-street......left to their own devices,in the wild,they`ll soon achieve Alpha Predator status and you`ll be good to go

I dunno about returning to the jungle JayBee......maybe if we can get them to give up their cell phones.

@jack-dodds Birds are supposed to be super smart.  At least yours is not going to get bored with the mundanity of life.

Posted by: @charles-rockett

@jack-dodds Birds are supposed to be super smart.  At least yours is not going to get bored with the mundanity of life.

mundanity ???......aint that the goomer got fired from Fox News a while back?