A few more puns.

A few more puns.

I once dated a guy who broke up with me because I only have 9 toes. Yes, he was lack toes intolerant. 

Did you know ants never get sick? It’s because they have anty bodies. 

You can’t blame anyone else if you fall in your driveway…it’s your own asphalt. 

I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness. 

If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. Now that’s humerus.  

Scientifically, a raven has 17 primary wing feathers, the big ones at the end of the wing. They are called pinion feathers. A crow has 16. So, the difference between a raven and a crow is only a matter of a pinion.  

Just spoke with Bill Withers and told him “Ain’t No Sunshine” is bad grammar. He said, "I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.”

My friend said she wouldn’t eat cow’s tongue because it came out of a cow’s mouth. I gave her an egg.  

Ran out of toilet paper and now using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceburg, and tomorrow romaines to be seen.