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Tony Perrone · 2026-05-03T09:39:48Z

I once dated a girl who broke up with me because I only have 8 toes. Yes, she was lack-toes intolerant. I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness. I've started investing in stocks: beef, vegetable, chicken. One day I hope to be a bouillianaire. If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. Now that's humerus. I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have Heinzsight. Did you know muffins spelled backwards is what you do when you take them out of the oven? Scientifically, a raven has 17 primary wing feathers, the big ones at the end of the wing are called pinion feathers. A crow has 16. So, the difference between a raven and a crow is only a matter of a pinion. I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard on his hind legs telling jokes. I turned to a local tribal leader and said, "That lizard is really funny!" The leader replied. "That's not just any old lizard ... he's a stand-up chameleon." I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork. I thought I nailed it, but nobody saw it. Just spoke with Bill Withers and told him "Ain't No Sunshine" is bad grammar. He said, "I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know." Singing in the shower is fine until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera. The Black-Eyed Peas can sing us a song. But the chick peas can only hummus one. Then there was the time Fruit of the Loom took Hanes to court ... it was a brief case. Once upon a time there was a King who was only 12 inches tall. He was a terrible King. But he made a great ruler. Ran out of toilet paper and now using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg and tomorrow romaines to be seen. My friend Jack says he can communicate with vegetables. That's right ...Jack and the beans talk. I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants. You probably have not heard of herbivore. I was struggling to understand how lightning works and then it struck me. I was struggling to understand where the sun went each night. Finally, it dawned on me. Six cows were smoking joints and playing poker. That's right, the steaks were pretty high.

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Tony Perrone

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Topic starter 03/05/2026 1:46 pm

Posted by: @carsman1958

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All good ones for this Sunday morning. Who comes up with these?

Apparently some pretty punny folks. Shut Mouth

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David Green

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03/05/2026 5:55 pm

Thanks Tony. Puns are always popular and entertaining.

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Geno

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03/05/2026 6:56 pm

@jack-dodds I had a friend who ate the pieces to his Mr. Potato Head when he was a kid. He said the next day out popped a Mr. Sh!# Head.😁

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Jack Dodds

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03/05/2026 7:38 pm

I hear that she initially thought you to be a masher. Then realized you were just a manly spud.

@perrone1 That is true Tony, she did think I was a masher, but when she asked me my name I coolly replied using my best James Bond.... "Terre....Pomme de Terre; but you can call me Earth Apple sweetheart." She was immediately twice baked; climbed down from her pole and never looked back.

This post was modified 5 months ago 2 times by Jack Dodds

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Jack Dodds

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03/05/2026 7:40 pm

@geno Impressive! I'm surprised Hasbro didn't sign the little crappoid.

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Geoff Jowett

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04/05/2026 3:41 am

some really good ones there, thanks Tony

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Tony Perrone

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Topic starter 04/05/2026 5:16 am

Posted by: @jack-dodds

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I hear that she initially thought you to be a masher. Then realized you were just a manly spud.

@perrone1 That is true Tony, she did think I was a masher, but when she asked me my name I coolly replied using my best James Bond.... "Terre....Pomme de Terre; but you can call me Earth Apple sweetheart." She was immediately twice baked; climbed down from her pole and never looked back.

Such a romantic story, told with such emotion. I'm blushing and feel french fried.

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Jack Dodds

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04/05/2026 8:56 am

@perrone1 She still can have a chip about her on occasion but our romance story is pure Yukon Gold my friend.

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Tony Perrone

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Topic starter 04/05/2026 10:08 am

Posted by: @jack-dodds

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@perrone1 She still can have a chip about her on occasion but our romance story is pure Yukon Gold my friend.

Oh good - makes me feel Russet all over.

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