clowns to the left of me

Stop me if you`ve heard this...........it`s a cautionary tale of a VERY stressed young mother.......one who totally type A`s her twins` birthday party.....She has delayed too long in preparation,and is now DESPERATE to find a performing clown act ......She will not be denied her moment in the sun

on the very day of little Billy and Susie`s 11th birthdays, the team of "Scaramouch and Elrod", the "ONLY Clowns to Hire" are playing a Bat Mitzvah over in the "Severely Gated Oak Crossings" community

Stella has found,at the VERY last minute, a dog`n`pony style clown ensemble that will work on short notice (short is KEY here)....it`s not until the blissfully vacant trio arrive,in a slightly undersized car no less,that Stella realizes the awful enormity (pun fully intended) of what she has unleashed.....all the kids,AND their respective moms, are hysterically laughing at HER now !

Back in the days of Moe,Larry,Curly,these guys were MAYBE average height....not so much today....they`re positively TINY!!....maybe the option to pay for them "by-the-pound" would have been wise......and OLD????.....they`re so old, they`re still in black and white

Almost at once,Stella`s little Billy begins pelting Captain Monkey with designer jelly beans.....His trajectory from the second story widows`walk seems particularly effective....the other kids soon follow suit....the monkey snatches an incoming Dr. Pepper/French Vanilla combination from midair flight......He gleefully returns fire with his powerful simian arm,taking out Master Bradley Pillington with a clever left nostril shot

...as Stella`s swirling visions of monochromatic Clara-belle,Emmett Kelly and (Pre-Johnny) Ed McMahon reach a fever peak,Judy Collin`s angelic voice overlays it all