Judy Walker,Agent Bob,Luke Farmbasketon ,and the other usual suspects are "early birding" the Shiners Tree Lot this year,hoping to make the first tree sale later today
While driving around on his day off, Slippin' Jimmy Auto Emporium's top salesperson Cheetya, has spotted this gathering of Christmas conifer clients. The ambitious salesman (sales simian) has decided to strategically park his Ford pickup demonstrator on the lot with the hood open to impress tree buyers browsing the area. Cheetya animatedly extolls the performance of the Y-block over the previous flat head mill to Agent Bob; who is quietly considering trading in his tired old red '40 Ford coupe with its collapsed left front suspension issues. Luke Farmbasketron overhears the sales pitch and comes nearer, his interest piqued. As Cheetya is "setting the hook", the perennially shirtless Jay Yellowlegs quietly slinks over to see if the keys are left in Luke's farm truck as he considers quietly stealing it. The normally law abiding, well known retired TV supporting actor (known to viewers as Toronto) is still angry and irrational over the shocking and tragically spectacular death of his horse Scout a month earlier. Jay was atop his beloved Pinto pony, participating in a Thanksgiving parade up in Canada, when a parade clown car driven by a drunk Shriner accidentally rear-ended them; resulting in an inexplicable explosion and fireball which killed the renowned Pinto instantly. Sadly, Jay Yellowlegs blames himself for not uttering "Get'em up Scout" in time to avoid the collision.
Meanwhile, at the rear of Cheetya's demo Ford, Judy Walker spots handsome hunk and toilet paper heir Chad Charmin and feigns struggling with loading her hand truck to attract him. Judy is feeling vulnerable and in need of a man to protect her after recently being aggressively motivated to give her hand in marriage to a bear of a person, a real animal she felt nothing in common with. In her ultimately successful physical struggle to flee that day from the marital proposal at hand, as it were, Judy sustained nasty forearm injuries which now strangely enough provide the catalyst for her much needed introduction to Chad. Flush with anticipation, Judy thinks how fortuitous it was for her brat of a nephew, today's babysitting charge Bobby Bloolid, to act up; resulting in her decision to have him out of sight, taking a time out facing the steel bars and reciting the words to "Oh Christmas Tree" fifty times.
It was a tale of honesty and guileless generosity.....a long-arm monkey`s never-ending search for an honest man in a world turned around on itself....all of this,and selling a few trees to raise pin money for the orphans over at the Woodruler Nunnery
and then came Jack Dodds....quicker that you can say barnacular , Jack dug deep into the swampy underbelly,fearlessly exposing what was hidden from view
GIT YER TANNENBAUM HERE
While driving around on his day off, Slippin' Jimmy Auto Emporium's top salesperson Cheetya, has spotted this gathering of Christmas conifer clients. The ambitious salesman (sales simian) has decided to strategically park his Ford pickup demonstrator on the lot with the hood open to impress tree buyers browsing the area. Cheetya animatedly extolls the performance of the Y-block over the previous flat head mill to Agent Bob; who is quietly considering trading in his tired old red '40 Ford coupe with its collapsed left front suspension issues.
Luke Farmbasketron overhears the sales pitch and comes nearer, his interest piqued. As Cheetya is "setting the hook", the perennially shirtless Jay Yellowlegs quietly slinks over to see if the keys are left in Luke's farm truck as he considers quietly stealing it. The normally law abiding, well known retired TV supporting actor (known to viewers as Toronto) is still angry and irrational over the shocking and tragically spectacular death of his horse Scout a month earlier. Jay was atop his beloved Pinto pony, participating in a Thanksgiving parade up in Canada, when a parade clown car driven by a drunk Shriner accidentally rear-ended them; resulting in an inexplicable explosion and fireball which killed the renowned Pinto instantly. Sadly, Jay Yellowlegs blames himself for not uttering "Get'em up Scout" in time to avoid the collision.
Meanwhile, at the rear of Cheetya's demo Ford, Judy Walker spots handsome hunk and toilet paper heir Chad Charmin and feigns struggling with loading her hand truck to attract him. Judy is feeling vulnerable and in need of a man to protect her after recently being aggressively motivated to give her hand in marriage to a bear of a person, a real animal she felt nothing in common with. In her ultimately successful physical struggle to flee that day from the marital proposal at hand, as it were, Judy sustained nasty forearm injuries which now strangely enough provide the catalyst for her much needed introduction to Chad. Flush with anticipation, Judy thinks how fortuitous it was for her brat of a nephew, today's babysitting charge Bobby Bloolid, to act up; resulting in her decision to have him out of sight, taking a time out facing the steel bars and reciting the words to "Oh Christmas Tree" fifty times.
You know....whenever I encounter a swampy underbelly I just have to dig in....with no thought to my personal well being. Move over Woodwind and Burnstyne....or whatever you two hacks call your selves; the real deal has arrived!
You know....whenever I encounter a swampy underbelly I just have to dig in....with no thought to my personal well being. Move over Woodwind and Burnstyne....or whatever you two hacks call your selves; the real deal has arrived!
Woodwood Burnstyle aside,what you wrote was fine, as investigative journalism goes......but to take such a vicious swat at the little guy was beneath you Jack....You think Agent Bob needed to have his "laundry done" in such a public manner......."tired old red '40 Ford coupe with its collapsed left front suspension issues"
It was a tale of honesty and guileless generosity.....a long-arm monkey`s never-ending search for an honest man in a world turned around on itself....all of this,and selling a few trees to raise pin money for the orphans over at the Woodruler Nunnery
and then came Jack Dodds....quicker that you can say barnacular , Jack dug deep into the swampy underbelly,fearlessly exposing what was hidden from view
GIT YER TANNENBAUM HERE
While driving around on his day off, Slippin' Jimmy Auto Emporium's top salesperson Cheetya, has spotted this gathering of Christmas conifer clients. The ambitious salesman (sales simian) has decided to strategically park his Ford pickup demonstrator on the lot with the hood open to impress tree buyers browsing the area. Cheetya animatedly extolls the performance of the Y-block over the previous flat head mill to Agent Bob; who is quietly considering trading in his tired old red '40 Ford coupe with its collapsed left front suspension issues.
Luke Farmbasketron overhears the sales pitch and comes nearer, his interest piqued. As Cheetya is "setting the hook", the perennially shirtless Jay Yellowlegs quietly slinks over to see if the keys are left in Luke's farm truck as he considers quietly stealing it. The normally law abiding, well known retired TV supporting actor (known to viewers as Toronto) is still angry and irrational over the shocking and tragically spectacular death of his horse Scout a month earlier. Jay was atop his beloved Pinto pony, participating in a Thanksgiving parade up in Canada, when a parade clown car driven by a drunk Shriner accidentally rear-ended them; resulting in an inexplicable explosion and fireball which killed the renowned Pinto instantly. Sadly, Jay Yellowlegs blames himself for not uttering "Get'em up Scout" in time to avoid the collision.
Meanwhile, at the rear of Cheetya's demo Ford, Judy Walker spots handsome hunk and toilet paper heir Chad Charmin and feigns struggling with loading her hand truck to attract him. Judy is feeling vulnerable and in need of a man to protect her after recently being aggressively motivated to give her hand in marriage to a bear of a person, a real animal she felt nothing in common with. In her ultimately successful physical struggle to flee that day from the marital proposal at hand, as it were, Judy sustained nasty forearm injuries which now strangely enough provide the catalyst for her much needed introduction to Chad. Flush with anticipation, Judy thinks how fortuitous it was for her brat of a nephew, today's babysitting charge Bobby Bloolid, to act up; resulting in her decision to have him out of sight, taking a time out facing the steel bars and reciting the words to "Oh Christmas Tree" fifty times.
Two short weeks later and after a whirlwind mostly indoor romance, Judy agrees to run away with Chad to the Charmin mansion near the Outer Banks in his family's company plane. Chad has promised her the sun and surf holiday of a lifetime with the added treat of watching legendary OBX hand fishing legend JayBee; who is rumored to be making a rare appearance in the raging surf. Although Chad has just barely passed his pilot's licence, Judy has complete faith in his ability. Perhaps somewhat blinded by love and yearning to leave behind the memory of the animal who tried to have her hand in marriage, she fails to notice that Chad, in his inexperience and excitement, has failed to install pontoons to facilitate his take off from the beach and planned landing at the Outer Banks. As she approaches, Chad begins to realize Judy has misunderstood his instruction to make haste in order to duck out. Sadly this was to be the last photo of the ill-fated lovers as their plane was lost in the waves attempting lift off. Their bodies were apparently swept away by the tide; leaving only the paddling duck to bear witness to their tragic demise.
say Jack.....you didn`t eat the little red pop-up indicator from the turkey did you?..........the DUCK you say ????...ok,I`m in
______southerly trade-winds, blowing hard all weekend, relocated what turned out to be a "duck of interest", squarely upon the tourist mecca of Myrtle Beach SC ........during one of its twice daily SunLotion events no less.....a Marshall hired by event sponsor "Turtle Wax", arrested the fluffy goomer for peddling down insulation while improperly licensed to do so......a trumped up charge? sure....but enough to hold him until he could be properly smoked QUESTIONED !
