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06/02/2023 9:32 am
AIRCRAFT TRAVEL.
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom; 'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax.... OH, MY GOD!'
Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee on my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'
A passenger in coach yelled, 'That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!’
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A man boarded a plane with six kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?"
He replied, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.”
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United Flight Attendant announced, 'People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!
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On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have. ‘
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'There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane
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As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: 'Whoa, big fella, WHOA!'
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'Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.'
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'As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses... except for that gentleman over there.'
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Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: 'We'd like to thank you, folks, for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways.
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