BUDDA TRUTHS (Cynical, but there you are.)

SIMPLE TRUTH 

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congratulations."

But none of them comes up to the man, touch him and say, "Good Job."

Moral of the story -- Hard work is rarely appreciated.

 

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:

1.  Money can't buy happiness - but it's far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.

2.  Forgive your enemy - but remember the asshole's name.

3.  If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4.  Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then, neither does milk – and alcohol allows them to go away for a while

5. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

 

LIFE RULES:

There are three things that cannot be easily hidden: The Sun, the Moon and the Truth

Condoms do not guarantee safe sex! A friend of mine was wearing one when he was
shot by the woman's husband.

I think all politicians should wear uniforms. You know, like NASCAR drivers,
so we could identify their corporate sponsors.

All politicians should serve only two terms - - one term in office and one
term in prison.