COFFEE TALK #51
 
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COFFEE TALK #51

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George Schire
(@georgeschire)
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COFFEE, TRAFFIC SIGNALS, and GROUND HOG DAY
 
I look forward to my morning coffee and actually enjoy either walking or driving to McDonalds for that first cup every morning.  Along with another new day, the sunrise, and my prayers it is the best start to every day. 
 
One observation I find interesting is the interaction at the Drive-Through window, as I've come to realize that it is completely regulated by the traffic signal a half a block away.  It goes like this...when cars at the traffic signal get the "green" light, within about a minute there will be anywhere from 6 to 8 cars that line-up in the Drive-Through lane.  When those cars have placed their orders, the line is then empty until the next "green" light.  
 
Since I only order coffee, I've assumed that most other people do too.  But continued visits have shown me that not to be true.  I'll be behind some cars ordering, that I swear are either memorizing the menu, or they have no idea how they got there.  
 
Seriously, it's really simple.  McDonalds breakfast menu is not a college course in the Theory of Relativity.  It's got only 4 items on it...Egg McMuffin's, Pancakes, English Muffins, and coffee/soft drinks.  So logic says, when you pull up to the speaker, ordering should be a slam-dunk.  I've learned to not take that logic for granted either.  
 
Seems I'm usually lucky to get behind the guy who is memorizing the menu or has no idea how he got in line.  And with another car now behind me in line, I'm stuck waiting for him to figure out his order or wake up and get out of line.  When I finally get to the speaker to place my order, it's like I'm delivering a recording, "One large black coffee please".  I try to speak loudly, and pronounce my words clearly.  
 
Moving ahead to the "pay window" is interesting some mornings too.  The young man who works the window is obviously not a math major, because if he isn't given the exact change, there is the equivalent of nuclear meltdown that occurs.  Ranging from a strange "dear in the headlight" look in his eyes to his head doing a full "380 degree" turn, it is clear that making change becomes a challenge he's not prepared to take on.  Even though I know the register computer tells him how much change to return to me, his struggle is that he's not mentally equipped to figure out how to do it.  As I witness this sad situation I wonder how he's been allowed to advance from grade to grade in school.  
 
One morning, handing him a dollar bill and two quarters for my $1.49 coffee, one of the quarters slipped out of his hand and crashed to the ground.  He froze and just stared at me through the window, the dollar and one quarter in his hand and he was mystified as to what to do next.  With my car almost married to the building wall housing the "pay window", I'm unable to open my car door to retrieve the run-a-way quarter.  Quickly realizing that this dilemma was not covered in his training manual for the job (that's assuming there was a training manual), I said to him, "hang on" and I reached in to my pocket, got another quarter and handed it to him.  I then proceeded to the "pick-up window" for the final phase of this entertaining morning ritual. 
 
Later that day, while contemplating an evening walk, I came up with the fun idea to walk to McDonalds and see if "my quarter" was on the ground in front of the Drive-Through window.  Walla, it was!  And to my surprise there were other coins there as well...in fact, $1.62 cents worth!  I remember declaring, "Damn, I'm rich!".  Now here is a caveat to this sudden windfall...each morning, my coffee is $1.49 and I just (usually) plop a dollar and two quarters in to the employees hand and NEVER wait for my change of one penny back.  I have joked a few times that after 149 visits to the window, I'll be eligible for a Free coffee.  LOL, yea, as if that would happen. 
 
But hey, with this sudden discovery of $1.62 in change from the ground in front of the window, I've not only recouped my 149 pennies, but gotten interest of .13 cents to boot.  That's better than most bank savings accounts offer.  It also occurred to me that I could perform a great public service to the homeless community, by letting them know of the "spare change" that is apparently available for the pickings at Drive-Through windows at McDonalds.  They'll be able to put away their cardboard "Homeless and need food" signs and enjoy a Hamburger every day. 
 
Each mornings visit makes me mindful of the movie "Groundhog Day" when I relive the same routine every day.  Unlike the movie though, I think I'm doomed to keep reliving it, as I'm not going to hold my breath that the routine will change. 
 
I can't wait for tomorrow morning.  
 
 
 
 

George Schire
Oakdale, Minnesota


   
David Vandermeer, David H, Pete Rovero and 1 people reacted
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Bob Jackman
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Interesting George that the same routine happens everywhere across the country. Thanks for the tip as I think I've got a new way to fight inflation...now I have to figure out when all of the fast- food places close for the day and remember to take my flashlight.


   
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David Green
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Thanks for today’s fun coffee talk, George. I will be checking dropped change on my next visit to McDonalds.


   
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Ed Davis
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@bob-jackman 

Do that enough times, you can save up and by another model car.

Ed Davis
Inverness, Illinois, USA


   
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Jack Dodds
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I know George, what is with these drive thru people, how hard can it be?  George if you get there ahead of me tomorrow can you order me an Egg McMuffin with extra toasted muffin....and can I get an extra cheese slice?.... and an extra hashbrown, and can I have extra salt, oh and extra ketchup....but only if it's Heinz...is it Heinz?.....,and a large coffee....ask is that like a vente or a tall at Starbucks? ...the biggest one anyways and dark roast please.... ask 'em would that be like Columbian or French; what is the darkest one they have?....I'll take that one.....and can I have non-dairy low-fat creamer....two of those please...but only if it's the vente size or whatever it's called there; if it's smaller than that just gimme one....oh, and Splenda instead of sugar, two of them please; explain that I'm pre-diabetic so it's important they get it right and could I have one of those ring thingies that go around the cup cuz it's too hot to handle safely....tell 'em for me that if it's too hot and I drop in on my crotch there will be litigious hell to pay.....and tell 'em they better snap that lid on properly....oh, and extra napkins please and do they have those little wet wipes...and could they double bag it cuz the grease might seep through and get on the car seat.  Thanks George....I'll be down at the second drive thru window with my metal detector....see you there!


   
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George Schire
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@jack-dodds 

LOL, you realize that if I (or you) were to place an order like that (and sadly, I think some people do) you'd blow the roof off of the McDonalds, paramedics would be called to administer first-aide to all of the employees and they'd be closed for the remainder of the day, maybe week.  

George Schire
Oakdale, Minnesota


   
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Bob Jackman
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@jack-dodds As I said above it happens across the country and now we have confirmation that it also happens in Canada.


   
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Brush
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All this bull for a place I never go to.  Thanks, now I know why.  By the way, I have never drank coffee or beer, they both taste YUCK to me. I'm still a kid in taste, Chocolate milk or Sprite or OJ or water please. Add Vodka to the OJ please.


   
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Jack Dodds
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Posted by: @georgeschire

@jack-dodds 

LOL, you realize that if I (or you) were to place an order like that (and sadly, I think some people do) you'd blow the roof off of the McDonalds, paramedics would be called to administer first-aide to all of the employees and they'd be closed for the remainder of the day, maybe week.  

More likely the cops and paramedics would be called to investigate my getting my butt kicked.......and deservedly so I might add.  Lol.


   
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George Schire
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Posted by: @brush

All this bull for a place I never go to.  Thanks, now I know why.  By the way, I have never drank coffee or beer, they both taste YUCK to me. I'm still a kid in taste, Chocolate milk or Sprite or OJ or water please. Add Vodka to the OJ please.

I guess coffee is an acquired taste.  My youngest daughter (she's 42) says coffee tastes like dirty water.  I've asked her how she knows that, then she says she "assumes that is what dirty water would taste like".  Smile I began drinking coffee during my working years at the bank.  Seems that is what everyone did every morning and on breaks, thus I guess that is where the term "coffee break" was coined.  Now being retired, just having that first cup of coffee each morning is a pleasant start to my day along with a piece of toast and my morning prayers.  My wife on the other hand, has to have a glass of Pepsi-Cola to start her day, and since that is her only "vice", I'd never deprive her of it.

George Schire
Oakdale, Minnesota


   
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Jack Dodds
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I can remember my first introduction to coffee as a kid; I thought it tasted awful as I was raised to that point on tea.  It didn't take long to start enjoying it though and now, like George, I really look forward to that first cup in the morning!  Three cups a day for me.


   
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Brush
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@georgeschire I did the Pepsi routine for years, until 1978 when I became a diabetic, water & juice for a year I went to diet Sprite and still do, even if the name changed last year Sprite Zero.


   
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David Vandermeer
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Hilarious subject line today!! Im laughing all through this!

I  never use drive thrus and I haven't been to a McDonald's in decades.

I've also made my own coffee every morning for about 55 years...no traffic, no signal lights, no lines at the drivethrus, no bewildered teenagers who can't make change for $1.49 and totally misuse the word "like".

THIS is soo easy guys; here's all you need and maybe some cream if so desired...

20220930 162206

Thanks for the laughs, I needed that.

David Vandermeer
Corinth, Texas


   
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Jack Dodds
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@david-vandermeer David, you totally have really like opened my eyes to getting back to what old people did when everybody knew how to like make coffee themselves.  Just one question though...what is the big black lantern for.... for like power outages and stuff?

This post was modified 2 months ago by Jack Dodds

   
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George Schire
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Posted by: @david-vandermeer

Hilarious subject line today!! Im laughing all through this!

I  never use drive thrus and I haven't been to a McDonald's in decades.

I've also made my own coffee every morning for about 55 years...no traffic, no signal lights, no lines at the drivethrus, no bewildered teenagers who can't make change for $1.49 and totally misuse the word "like".

THIS is soo easy guys; here's all you need and maybe some cream if so desired...

20220930 162206

Thanks for the laughs, I needed that.

David, I also make my own coffee during most of the winter months.  My visits though to the drive-thru is a summer thing.  I either walk or drive to McDonalds from where I live it's only 2 miles away.  I use the drive-thru mostly when I'm going somewhere in the morning.  And all those laughs you said you enjoyed from my story and from others who weighed in on the conversation, the stories (at least by me) are shared more for just that, laughs.  I meet with a couple of groups for lunch once a month and it's stories like these that provide us laughs and conversation.

George Schire
Oakdale, Minnesota


   
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