Notifications
Clear all
Topic starter
30/08/2023 8:55 am
JUST THINKING.
Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that, at my age, I don't really give a rat's ass anymore
If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat.
A rabbit runs, and hops, and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run, and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And they tell us to exercise? I don't think so
Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it
2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran
3. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded
5. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
6. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than it was to get wiser.
7. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.
8. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.
9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
11. It is hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
12. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.
13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
14. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess.
15. It is not hard to meet expenses . . . They're everywhere.
16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth..
17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . . I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".
18. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded
19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.
20. Have I sent this message to you before...or did I get it from you?
30/08/2023 10:07 am
LOL !! Thanks for brightening up my day David!
30/08/2023 10:22 am
All terribly funny, David. The part about the accident reminded me of a news story from Italy, some decades ago, but not one that absent mindedness would overlook. A couple were in their cinquecento practicing coitus interruptus (not as an end in itself, I'm sure) when suddenly a lorry bumped into the back of them, putting them off their stroke. So they sued for child maintenance - and won!
30/08/2023 10:54 am
@jack-dodds And just a little bump.
"Bump"....a good nickname for the child.....its actual given name would of course be Lawrie.
30/08/2023 11:32 pm
31/08/2023 1:28 am
good stuff David thanks..this is my favourite:
7. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.
