On The Water.

On The Water.

1. A  Mississippi River steamboat was stopped in the mouth of a tributary stream, owing to a dense fog. An inquisitive passenger inquired of the captain the cause of the delay. "Can't see up river," was his laconic reply.

"But I can see the stars overhead," the passenger replied sharply.

"Yes," came back the captain, "but unless the boilers bust, we ain't going that way."

2. The two men were adrift in an open boat and it looked bad for them. Finally one of them frightened, began to pray. "O LORD," he prayed, "I've broken most of your commandments. I've been a hard drinker, but if my life is spared now I'll promise Thee never again----"

"Wait a minute Jack," said his friend. "Don't go too far. I think I see a sail."

3. ”Yes," said the captain of the steamboat to the nervous passenger. '"I've  been running boats on this river so long I know were every snag and sandbar is."

Just then the boat struck a submerged snag with such force that it shivered from stem to stern.

"There," said the captain, "that's one of them now!"