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Topic starter
03/05/2024 5:21 pm
1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11 - I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met.
12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
13 - How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
14 - If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
15 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
16 - When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17 - Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
18 - Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
19 - I intend to live forever ... So far, so good.
20 - If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
21 - Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
22 - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
23 - My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
24 - Why do psychics have to ask you for your name
25 - If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
26 - A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
27 - Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
28 - The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
29 - To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
30 - The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
31 - The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
32 - The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
33 - Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
34 - If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
35 - If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
John Kuvakas
Warrenton, VA
03/05/2024 10:37 pm
LOL...these are awesome.....especially the last one.
04/05/2024 3:58 am
Steven was always a favorite of mine when he was on The Tonight show with Johnny Carson.
I had toast this morning so right now number 28 is the one that affects me the most... 👍
John Kuvakas and Tony Perrone reacted
04/05/2024 4:07 am
some great ones there, thanks John
04/05/2024 6:04 am
Each very good in their own way and can serve to help in everyday personal navigation! Especially #14 & #28.
Jack, the speed of light is 186,000 miles per second. The headlights are part of the car, so they, too, would travel that fast. At that speed, they would illuminate objects for your view for, roughly, 17 millionth of a second or approximately 1/34 billionth % of a foot. See item #5, above.
04/05/2024 9:56 am
@perrone1 Apparently GM thought the taillights would work at incredible speeds but would lose some parts of the car itself.
David Vandermeer
Corinth, Texas
04/05/2024 11:00 am
Each very good in their own way and can serve to help in everyday personal navigation! Especially #14 & #28.
Jack, the speed of light is 186,000 miles per second. The headlights are part of the car, so they, too, would travel that fast. At that speed, they would illuminate objects for your view for, roughly, 17 millionth of a second or approximately 1/34 billionth % of a foot. See item #5, above.
You must be correct Tony; after all you are a member of the Think Tank(ed) deep thinkers.
John Kuvakas and Tony Perrone reacted
04/05/2024 1:37 pm
The sign said "Breakfast served anytime", so I ordered French toast from the Renaissance.
Jack Dodds and Tony Perrone reacted
04/05/2024 2:33 pm
The sign said "Breakfast served anytime", so I ordered French toast from the Renaissance.
LOL!!
Jack Dodds reacted