Why not?

Full disclosure JayBee...I never made Eagle Scouts; I'm just a wannabee.  I got kicked out of Cubs for smoking.

Sunday 5 February 2023, 11.35 a.m. GMT

Wonderful news, gentlemen.

A quick morning glance at the algorithm processing event logs has revealed that the apparently worrying drop in our IQ rating yesterday evening was mainly due to the fact that a number of particularly imbecilic comments in the sequence of forum posts were actually repeat “quotes” rather than new contributions. Once that was taken into account the final figure was . . . 60.1.

We only just scraped over the line, but still, it's the first, tentative step into “borderline sapience”.

According to the International IQ Ratings Guidebook, individuals in this category “display an essentially human ability to absorb, retain and repeat simple facts and to initiate meaningful independent actions, albeit at a rather basic level . Social interactions are clumsy and somewhat stereotypical but generally well-intentioned. Attempts at humour tend to be particularly inept (a full grasp of the complexities of humour only emerge at a much higher level on the scale) but appear to afford a degree of gratification and a “sense of belonging” and should therefore be encouraged and nurtured.”

Sounds about right.

It may take a little time for the implications of this result to fully  . . um . . percolate into our collective consciousness, but I think we can all get up on our hind legs and give three hearty cheers. Bear in mind, of course, that with a skeletal structure and musculature still optimised for knuckle-walking, an erect posture cannot be maintained indefinitely. Not even with Viagra.

I will continue to  monitor the situation but will not be issuing regular updates. I think I’ve said more than enough.

Posted by: @jack-dodds

Posted by: @john-barry

Posted by: @jkuvakas

I'm just looking for the bridge!

the bridge gave out some time back.......we all swam directionless when it happened.......

Hey...I just zoomed in on this pic.....is that a price tag I see on your catch?

good eye.....he cost me a fin

Posted by: @jack-dodds

Full disclosure JayBee...I never made Eagle Scouts; I'm just a wannabee.  I got kicked out of Cubs for smoking.

this would have opened doors for you to streamline membership into either alternative.....the Sharks OR the Jets

Posted by: @graeme-ogg

Sunday 5 February 2023, 11.35 a.m. GMT

Wonderful news, gentlemen................

I will continue to  monitor the situation but will not be issuing regular updates. I think I’ve said more than enough.

it`s only 7:30 Sunday morning !!!......if you continually operate with a four hour lead time,what kind of disingenuous hooey is that??

I am unrepentant, and will continue to ruthlessly exploit any slender advantage afforded me by geography.

Anyway, what are you complaining about? You should be celebrating the opportunity to join us in dropping boldly down from the lower branches, banana in hand, and venturing out into the boundless horizons of the sunlit savannah of the human intellect.

And if not, please don't mess it up for the rest of us.

Posted by: @graeme-ogg

I am unrepentant, and will continue to ruthlessly exploit any slender advantage afforded me by geography.

Anyway, what are you complaining about? You should be celebrating the opportunity to join us in dropping boldly down from the lower branches, banana in hand, and venturing out into the boundless horizons of the sunlit savannah of the human intellect.

And if not, please don't mess it up for the rest of us.

so sayeth the man from our future afternoon

Posted by: @chris

@graeme-ogg Awesome!  I've moved up 4 points!

4 points !....what the....?  You must be using that new metric cipherin' system.  My calculations come out to 8.6 Kilopascals.

Posted by: @graeme-ogg

I am unrepentant, and will continue to ruthlessly exploit any slender advantage afforded me by geography.

Anyway, what are you complaining about? You should be celebrating the opportunity to join us in dropping boldly down from the lower branches, banana in hand, and venturing out into the boundless horizons of the sunlit savannah of the human intellect.

And if not, please don't mess it up for the rest of us.

This is of course good news from an intellectual evolutionary perspective; finally dropping down from the jungle canopy does appeal to me.   It does however still leave me with two burning questions.  How do you bite through this banana skin and more importantly, will life on the savannah help the bald patch on my arse  to grow back in?

Biting through banana skins can indeed be a problem, given the sometimes fragile nature of remedial dentistry. Fragmentary research from archeological digs in East Africa suggests that some early hominids may have used a primitive version of what became the Leatherman tool, with a sharp flint serrated blade which would have facilitated banana access (or “plantain penetration”, to use the technical term). Unfortunately, being blessed with an intellectual capacity only marginally greater than the average member of this forum, many of them may have persisted in trying to use the corkscrew or the cross-head screwdriver, making it difficult to achieve an adequate nutritional intake while on the move.

A bald patch on the arse? Was that a cut-price Brazilian that went badly wrong, or what? Anyway, no, I’m not aware of any direct correlation between life on the savannah and hair regeneration, but walking upright in the long grass could make the problem less visible – but then other equally embarrassing anatomical deficiencies might become more prominently displayed. It’s a toss-up, really.

Having said all that, 5 days in, it occurs to me that if somebody had just replied to the original post by saying “WHY NOT INDEED??!!” , and left it at that, we would have been spared all this nonsense. Ah well, too late now.

@graeme-ogg ........thank you for your continued efforts.....it would seem that this monkey hair loss business is still in it`s infancy but bears watching nonetheless (there are no actual bears watching)

It seems the world is watching and learning from this high-brow and profound, if not overly verbose, exchange of intellectually challenging wordsmithing. As the moderator, I have been contacted by an organization calling themselves "Mensa." They would like to bestow honorary membership upon all contributors to this thread. I nearly laughed openly at their invitation! My response was, "We will have nothing to do with female physiological matters!" Nonetheless, note that the silent and anonymous masses are impressed and moved by our intellectual acuity. 

I thought “Mensa” was where the boys went when the grew up 🤔

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cqgl0VRJW0E

@jkuvakas......... placating approval aside JK,for all that you hold to be precious and life affirming,I implore you to somehow spirit away that despicable IQ machine from Mr Ogg,at your earliest opportunity......also.....is the spaghetti strainer offered in other colors or even a nice twotone ?

@frank .........Connie Francis ...."oh don`t worry, I`ll have these endorsements forEVER !!