[Closed] The Night Before Christmas.

The Night Before Christmas.

The Night Before Christmas by Don Bellows.

'Twas the night before Christmas and parked in the drive,
Sat your Classic Chevy, just barely alive.
"Five minutes more", is what you just said,
"To fix one more thing--Send the kids off to bed!"
Plenty of time their gifts to assemble,
So skilled with a wrench, you're quick and you're nimble!

When you turned the key, there arose such a clatter,
It shook up your soul, right down to your bladder!
The engine did splutter, the carbs went a-flutter,
And your trusty Maglite rolled straight into the gutter.
"The timings awry!" you were heard to roar,
As your spouse stuck her head from behind the front door.
"It's nine thirty-five!" she did report,
"A few minutes more!" is all you could snort.

A check with a light, a nut you would twist,
It'll run good---there's nothing you missed,
But then no ignition--the neighborhood's quiet,
Sears had that battery, why didn't you buy it?
"Jay Leno just started and you've toys to fix!"
So to the fender you applied, three sharp kicks,
At the starter you found the offending wire,
All the houses are dark and you've started to tire.

Now, from the exhaust came a tremendous blast,
All the houses lit up---Amazing how fast!
Debbie and Tony, Nancy and Thor,
Shouted words from their windows---All lettering four!

A young man in blue soon did arrive,
"your neighbors complained---It's three forty-five!"
You ranted and raved, a tantrum you threw,
A 5150 the officer just knew!

As your kids awoke, you know what they found,
Boxes unopened and Dad's not around,
The telephone ring brought your wife a sad tale,
"Merry Christmas my dearest---Can you post my Bail?"

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a wonderful New Year!