they call me the Count

Having just sung "Solitary Man" and now finishing up his rendition of "Raindrops Ain't Falling' On My Head" Wash and his wolf/Lab cross Strummer are planning to exit through the phallic portal and attend the mansion ballroom concert at the nearby estate of Vlad L'Impalier.

almost six hours since Jack submitted his learned analysis......I began almost at once to either support or discredit his phallacy of just how things went down.....it was a day of nodding off to Earl Holliman movies and discovering an empty imagination upon each return to my worksheet

The Unfinished Treatment:.........Vlad III Dracula, the Prince of Wallachia,the sole customer base of the now defunct "Peters Preferred Pikes" had been instrumental in luring young Wash to the castle grounds........"We are buying stout pikes at unheard-of prices"......."all vendors are invited to apply within"...."lifetime plus contracts available for qualified applicants"
........Ol` Wash was fairly handy with his spinning rod and had pulled in Pike-a-plenty in his tiny yellow kayak......he looked forward to hashing out the details with Vlad at their pre-dawn meeting tomorrow

Earl Holliman had other plans

                                                                                        PART ONE

Officer Hawley Earlman had mixed feelings as he and his fellow platoon members surveyed the challenging terrain of Stalagmite Cove, looking for overdue camper Washington "Wash" Boardan.  The young musician was described as a shy, eccentric loner who spent most of his days camping and pike fishing in the company of his dog Strummer.  "This is probably just another baseless missing person file of no consequence, where the dude is out on a bender" thought Hawley, except one chilling detail nagged at him.  Two days after Boardan was reported overdue by his worried sister Soapie, Strummer had shown up at their residence, looking bedraggled and spattered in blood.  Hawley reflected back on several unsolved cold cases that had involved missing campers in recent years, but that was upstate, hundreds of miles away.  "I hope to God that nightmare hasn't come to Wallachia" thought Hawley, nervously biting his lip, afraid of what the blood analysis might reveal. 

Hawley had recently left Scranton P.D. after thirteen years suffering from burnout and felt fortunate to have secured a position on the newly formed Wallachia Police Department, a semi-rural jurisdiction formerly handled by the Pennsylvania State Police.  Aside from the embarrassing space age looking uniforms selected by the politically ambitious female Chief Ursula Oddress, always looking to make herself appear progressive, things had gone well for Hawley thus far.  The large search team, comprised of uniform members and search and rescue volunteers, had been directed to the Stalagmite Cove area after a hiker had discovered what turned out to be Boardan's VW and trailer, apparently abandoned in a wooded area adjacent to a large estate.  At the 8 a.m. briefing meeting Hawley had felt slighted when Captain Neilsen and Major S. Lee had announced that he would be assigned a support role as nutrition resource manager for the day.  "A trumped up term for camp cook", thought Hawley angrily; feeling his cheeks burn and noticing the smirks on the faces of his colleagues.  Now standing at the search commencement area with Neilsen and Lee, Hawley felt frustrated with the two supervisors and also quite foolish after they had insisted he wear a silly apron and cook's hat so the volunteers would know who to contact for their meals.  Glancing over at them Hawley's mind wandered momentarily as he chuckled to himself how everyone said the Captain looked so much like Detective Frank Dreben of Police Squad fame while the Major reminded them of The Six Million Dollar Man.  At the sound of Captain Neilsen loudly ordering the search to begin, Hawley quickly refocused on the task at hand, quietly berating himself for being so petty.  As the team left the area he began setting up his service point and motioned to Lotta Legg, the attractive civilian from logistics, to drive her supply vehicle over; much to the chagrin of Officer Randy Boyes, who had been chatting her up since she arrived.

Earl Holliman KNOWS Wash Boardan????......how is that even possible ????????.........THANKS JACK  

Frank Drebbin and Maverick`s brother violate the strict non-smoking statutes on an endangered and severely littered planet

Earl looks for his answer in all the wrong places

later,Drebbin performs a single from his new album on Walter Pidgeon`s late show....Honey West and Maverick`s brother are also on the card

a second tune from Drebbin,never agreed upon,brings Pidgeon to his feet

Calendar Page Roll forward five months....anonymous tip called in to Wallachia County Sheriff Station....."teardrop trailer matching description reportedly spotted at Chicken Dunk Wheel Estates"

JayBee...this exciting, fast paced action thriller is hard to keep up with!  Pray tell...are you suggesting that the searching policemen have unwittingly entered another dimension via their discovery and investigation of the phallic portal?  Could this be what happened to poor Wash Boardan?  Edge of your seat stuff!  Dreben's impromptu performance of his latest single "Winging My Way Home To You" and accompanied Gumshoe Shuffle was an unexpected treat and obviously of sufficient quality to bring Honey West running from a nearby set and to receive a standing ovation from an aroused Wally Pigeon, manning the tip line desk in the mobile trailer.

......At the risk of deflating your phallic portal theory,you should know that Count Dracula`s pervasive black and white atmosphere of eminent doom extends no further than the municipal borders of the family estate.

......Simply step a foot or so beyond Vlad`s mailbox and the world returns to it`s TechNiColor splendor....Fuzzy baby lambs and enough Yuengling beer to last through the late show

......Straddle the realms ???...SOME of the color returns to normalcy with a greater than average presence of scattered wolves

All of this comes as a surprise JayBee; who could have known?  Part Deux is now in the trash can......which is probably a blessing.   

Posted by: @jack-dodds

All of this comes as a surprise JayBee; who could have known?  Part Deux is now in the trash can......which is probably a blessing.   

that sort of thing happens to me frequently Jack........divine intervention most likely