A chuckle or two...
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A chuckle or two...

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John Bono
Illustrious Member
Joined: 27 years ago
Posts: 3830
Topic starter  
 I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year.  Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?
 I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
 When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
 A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
 Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and  wondered Y?
 You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.
 My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
 If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
 I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters?  Do they just give   you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”
 My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.
 Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.”  If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!
 The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.
 The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
 Money can’t buy happiness but it keeps the kids in touch!
 The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.

John Bono
North Jersey

Ed Davis, David Green, John Napoli and 7 people reacted
David H
Trusted Member
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 2157

Good ones, especially the very last.  Thanks, John!

John Kuvakas reacted
John Napoli
Famed Member
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 2181

All good ones. John.  Good for a chuckle this morning.

John Kuvakas reacted
Jack Dodds
Illustrious Member
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 11406


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Larry kemling
Noble Member
Joined: 3 years ago
Posts: 1198

Man’s gotta have a good chuckle in the morning!🤣🤣

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