When I was 14 years old, my Dad called me son and I remember thinking it was because I was bright. Yup, I really thought I was. A neighbor guy across the street from us worked for an electric company and came up with a great money-making idea for me. He could buy Light Bulbs in packs of four at $1.20 each and I in turn, could sell them for $2.00 each.
This appeared to be pure genius. The plan was, that I would go door-to-door around our neighborhood offering each homeowner the opportunity to purchase this Four-Pack of bulbs consisting of a 40 watt, a 60 watt, a 100 watt and a three-way bulb for their $2.00 investment.
Sounded easy enough.
It turned out to be gold, as most homeowners were in need of light bulbs. Murphy's Law proves true that when a bulb goes out, you seemingly are always out of the one you need.
I sold those Four Packs by the dozens, with the sales pitch being that I was earning money for me to go to summer camp. Oops! Disclaimer here...I never went to summer camp. I was told by my Dad that a good sales pitch would also help to sell the Light Bulbs. I figured out he was right, because I had quite the little business going. At 14 years old, I felt like I was a millionaire. I was able to buy my monthly allotment of comic books at 12 cents each with plenty of money left over.
Entering adulthood, I learned early on that even though my Dad called me son, I really wasn't bright after all.
Why?
Because hindsight quickly showed me that I never bought any of those Light Bulb packs for myself. Whenever a bulb burns out, I'm just like the neighbors I sold to as a kid, I don't have the replacement bulb I need.
Never!
And with regard to light bulbs there is a mystery that I'm certain I will never have an answer to, that being, not all light bulbs are created equal. My personal logic tells me that if you put two bulbs in two different sockets at the same time, each bulb should burn out at the same time.
WRONG! The life span of the average light bulb is estimated. So much so that, Vegas odds-takers I'm sure refuse to bet on a bulbs life span.
I've lived in my present home for 29 years and the light bulb dilemma has been a constant, and I'm confident that with the inconstancy of light bulb life-span, it's inevitable that there is always a light bulb that burns out. Another interesting phenomenon is that bulbs burn out in three's, meaning if one burns out, within a day or so, two more will go out. You can check this out for yourself the next time one of your own bulbs burns out. Two more will play follow the leader.
The next problem is that if a 40 watt bulb burns out, when I go to the cabinet, I only have 60 watt bulbs. And not just a few, I've got several boxes of them. But wait, crazy it seems, if a 60 watt bulb goes out...yup, you guessed it...the cabinet only contains 40 watt bulbs! I've no idea how or why this is the case, but believe me it happens every time.
So I'll head to a store to get whatever watt bulb it is that I need. Oh boy, that's an adventure that I'd like to avoid like the plague too, because they don't sell "just a light bulb". They only come in boxes of four or eight or twelve. This is when I flashback to my 14 year old self and realize that, YES, I was bright! I was selling the perfect door-to-door item that every homeowner needs.
Tonight, one 40 watt bulb went out. I bet you can guess that I didn't have any 40 watts in the cabinet, but I do have 60 watts a plenty, so no surprise there. In my house we have 70 lights that need bulbs, and I'll be darned if I can do the math to figure out the bulb to watt ratio, to have the right number of bulbs and in the correct watt when needed. This is one math problem that was overlooked in school and I (like everyone else), have spent my life needing light bulbs.
I sure wish some 14 year old boy would come to my door earning his way to summer camp selling light bulbs. I'd tell him to have his parents bring a truckload of those light bulb four-packs to my house and I'd help him unload them.
Okay story over, wish me luck. I have to head to a store...I need a 40 watt bulb.
