CROOKS & BANDITS

 

1.

Two bandits were holding up a train; one fellow ,a big man, walks in on one end of the sleeping car, and a little fellow walks in at the other end of the car.   The big fellows says, "Don't be alarmed; we're not going to hurt anybody; we're going to rob the men, and we're going to kiss the women."  The little fellow says,  "Aw, Bill, we don't want to hurt these women's feelings; all we want here is money."  There was an old maid in one of the sections, and she stood up on her feet and said, "Say, young feller, you shut up and mind your own business; the big fellow is robbing the train."

 

 

 

2.

In the office of the prison warden a notorious crook was being divested of the contents of his pockets. As each article was removed, it was carefully examined, listed and then placed  temporarily on a nearby desk. Among the articles was a badly tarnished silver dollar. The prisoner pointed to the dull looking coin and in a suppliant tone asked the warden: "Would you mind letting me keep that with me?"  "Why," asked the warden. "Oh, just a little sentiment, I suppose," the prisoner explained. "You know, it's the first dollar I ever stole."