Desperate news for film buffs everywhere

I am sure that the film Mary Poppins, starring Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke, is a firm favourite of many Lounge Lizards, who will regularly spend a happy evening at home singing “Chim Chim Cher-ee” and Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” between mouthfuls of popcorn.

I have just seen on the news that this well-loved movie has just had its certification raised from a “U” to a “PG”. Why? Because chimney sweeps with their sooty black faces are twice referred to as "Hottentots", a derogatory term referring to nomadic peoples in southern Africa. The British Board of Film Classification states that “the use of discriminatory language ultimately exceeds our guidelines for acceptable language.”

How terribly distressing. Next time you sit down to enjoy this timeless classic, be sure to ask permission from your elders first, but be aware that they may well recommend abstinence, or the use of suitable earplugs.

But let’s face it, we are all snowflakes these days (and if you feel that statement is racially insulting to the Inuit I can only apologise for my lack of social sensitivity).

Mind you, I have long felt that there are several scenes in Disney’s “Bambi” where the wildly dilated pupils of the star of the film clearly indicate the use of illicit psychotropic substances, and I firmly believe the film should have an “18” or “Restricted” rating. Of course this may just be due to my Scots Calvinist upbringing and I don't want to spoil your fun.