Notes to the MILKMAN

David Green · 2021-12-02T20:18:18Z

Do you remember the milkman that made home deliveries when you were small (younger members won’t), often using a horse pulling his milk wagon. He also had eggs and butter. A British milkman kept notes from his customers. Here are some of the notes left by British householders in milk bottles at the front door.. ** Dear milkman:I've just had a baby, please leave another one. **Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk. **Cancel one pint after the day after today. **From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk. ** Sorry about yesterday's note, I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round. ** Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday. ** Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it. ** Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole. ** Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks. ** Please send me a Government form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me. ** Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant. ** My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight. ** When you leave my milk please knock on window and wake me because I want you to give mea hand to turn the mattress. ** Milkman, please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS: Don't leave any milk. ** No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.