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Topic starter
07/09/2026 10:45 am
Clint Eastwood recently noted that 'aging is not gentle...the hardest part is the quiet. At a certain age you reach for the phone and then remember there is no one left to call.'
I was rereading his text and I know of what he speaks. So many years ago AIDS ravaged the large circle of friends I had in SoCal and around the world, young, old, and those in between were all hit hard and forty-two people I knew well, saw at least weekly, if not more often, were suddenly gone. It might be hard for many to comprehend such a substantial loss, without war being the cause, and this battle was with an invisible enemy, one who showed no mercy. One need only remember Ryan White to be reminded of this.
Now, today, I remember those I still could meet with, have weekly dinner parties in San Francisco, where we debated everything under the sun. The number at the large table in our friend's formal dining room was sometimes fourteen, though more likely ten-twelve, but conversation was robust, nonetheless. I used to be able to pick up the phone, no matter where I was living at the time, and speak with them, hear their voices, their laughs, and discuss anything under the sun. There were educated folk mixed with everyday folk, all of which made for interesting conversation.
But, as is the case for M'sieur Eastwood, now when I reach for the phone I, too, am reminded there is no one left to call. Every friend from New York to California, with the exception of four women (including my ex-wife), has passed. I'm not a perfect person, yet I was blessed with an abundance of good friends, which makes their absence all the more profound.
So, when I witness long-time friends having a tiff over a tiddlywink I think about my friends and how I wish I could pick up the phone just once more, and hear a familiar but long-gone voice on the other end. Clint was right. The quiet is the hardest part.
This topic was modified 2 months ago 2 times by GDH
07/09/2026 12:48 pm
Certainly, I can empathize with your loss and the heartbreak sting of quiet. Last year I lost my best friend of 47 years. Yesterday would've been his 63rd birthday....... yesterday was quiet.
07/09/2026 3:29 pm
Yes, well said. More and more friends my age have passed on. I do miss them. We had a lot of fun times back in the day.😟
07/09/2026 4:39 pm
Being in my mid eighties I can certainly relate. A few weeks ago I was looking at a list of phone numbers and emails of close friends and discovered that 73 % of them are no longer with us....now that got my attention.
Topic starter
07/09/2026 5:01 pm
@bob-jackman It's a bit of a shock, isn't it? One of the hardest parts was friends who suddenly disappeared, seemingly without anyone taking notice, and with no one to let me know what happened.
07/09/2026 5:27 pm
@gdh Yes it is quite a shock and the worst part is, those are the ones I know about.
07/09/2026 5:41 pm
Way/all too true! Said with tears flowing.
07/09/2026 6:30 pm
@gdh Sme here. Moving away from my hometown, a lot of times I don't hear about their passing until they've been buried. It saddens me when I didn't get to pay my last respects.😢
08/09/2026 5:22 am
The older we get, the more people we lose. Grand parents, parents, siblings; it's the way of the world. It's losing a child that defines a parent though. It's not supposed to be that way. THAT quiet is never, ever overcome.
08/09/2026 5:46 am
@perrone1 I can't imagine the pain of losing a child. Years ago I had a boss who lost his two sons. The first son was 21 and a senior in college and captain of the Tennis team and the picture of health. The second son died of alcoholism at the age of 46.
08/09/2026 5:58 am
@perrone1 I can't imagine the pain of losing a child. Years ago I had a boss who lost his two sons. The first son was 21 and a senior in college and captain of the Tennis team and the picture of health. The second son died of alcoholism at the age of 46.
That is truly awful Bob. I appreciate you mentioning him. I lost my son-in-law, Heather's husband of five years that day as well.
I was friends with a Memphis insurance agent/client many years ago and we compared our kids development in school, my daughter and his three daughters. A few years before Heather & Henry's death, his wife and three daughters were aboard an Amtrak train on vacation. He was to meet up with them at their final destination. The train crashed and his two oldest daughters who went to the dining car, were both killed. His wife and youngest daughter were saved.
This post was modified 2 months ago by Tony Perrone
08/09/2026 6:38 am
@perrone1 Tony I know that you know first hand what a tragedy losing a child can be and a son in law. It's never something you can ever forget. Bless you and Shirl my friend.
08/09/2026 6:42 am
If you want to get depressed, read through your personal phone book and see how many of your family and friends are no longer with us.
John Bono
North Jersey
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