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Topic starter
29/11/2024 8:27 pm
◾A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
◾The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.
◾He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
◾When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
◾Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
◾I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
◾Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
◾When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
◾When chemists die, they barium.
◾I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
◾I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
30/11/2024 1:02 am
30/11/2024 5:16 am
Very good. There's something rather trad' about this selection: reminds me of bygone humour.
30/11/2024 7:53 am
Good stuff! Thanks David!
John Bono
North Jersey
30/11/2024 9:39 am
Great stuff!
Did you hear about the lexophile who was arrested for stealing a dictionary?
They booked him!
John Kuvakas
Warrenton, VA
30/11/2024 10:06 am
Have we seen these yet?
- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He’s all right now. - The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
- To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
- When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
- The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
- A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
- A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
- Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
- We’ll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
- When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
- The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
- The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
- The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
- If you take a laptop for a run you could jog your memory.
- A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
- A will is a dead giveaway.
- Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- A backward poet writes inverse.
- In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
- A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
- If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
- With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
- Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
30/11/2024 11:38 am
Superb!
John Kuvakas
Warrenton, VA
01/12/2024 2:03 pm
Excellent...thanks Tony.
One more to add....
Tony Perrone and John Kuvakas reacted