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Clever Remarks.
 
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Clever Remarks.

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David Green
(@david-green)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 10468
Topic starter  

Clever Remarks. ( My apologies if you have seen some of these before)

 

 Dad, are we pyromaniacs?    We arson.

 

 She was only a moonshiner's daughter, but I miss her still.

 

Why do bees stay in their hives during winter?  Swarm.

 

Just so everything is clear, I'm going to put my glasses on.

 

I lost my job as a stage designer.  I left without making a scene.

 

I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by.  I kneaded the dough.

 

I lost my girlfriend's audio book, and now I'll never hear the end of it.

 

Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not c?  Because you can't "c" in the dark.

 

When I told my contractor that I didn't want carpeted steps, he gave me a  blank stare.

  

I'm trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.

 

What do you say to comfort a friend who's struggling with grammar?  There, their, they're.

 

I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied,

 

     "Aisle B, back."

 

 What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision?  Suture self.



   
Ed Glorius, Steve Jacobs, michaeldetorrice and 10 people reacted
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(@grockwood)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 3051
 

Very clever and funny. Thanks for the laugh.



   
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(@ed-davis)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 4116
 

Funny. My favorite line about “k” in dark.


Ed Davis
Inverness, Illinois, USA


   
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(@sizedoesmatter)
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Joined: 30 years ago
Posts: 33441
 

All good...my favorite "I'm trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find."


John Bono
North Jersey


   
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Geno
 Geno
(@geno)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 6730
 

Good ones David. 😁



   
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(@jack-dodds)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 39684
 

Love it!

image


   
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Geoff Jowett
(@geoff-jowett)
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Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 8508
 

Posted by: @david-green
↑

I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied,

 

     "Aisle B, back."

my favorite!

 



   
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(@perrone1)
Admin
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 25387
 

Posted by: @sizedoesmatter
↑

All good...my favorite "I'm trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find."

This is my favorite as well! But they are all very well thought out and hysterical!

 



   
Geno, Geoff Jowett, michaeldetorrice and 3 people reacted
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(@chris)
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Joined: 30 years ago
Posts: 23740
 

🤣 😆 😉    Thanks David!



   
Geno, Geoff Jowett, David Green and 2 people reacted
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(@michaeldetorrice)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 2 years ago
Posts: 2852
 

Lol ! LoL Roll Wink  



   
Christopher Moroni, Tony Perrone, Geno and 2 people reacted
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(@100ford2003)
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Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 13126
 

Posted by: @jack-dodds
↑

Love it!

lucky you the corn i get has long 

golden threads btwn the rows. Well at least you can eat and floss at same time.

 



   
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(@jack-dodds)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 39684
 

@100ford2003 Steve; you must be a source of entertainment eating corn at family barbecues.  Wink



   
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(@perrone1)
Admin
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 25387
 

@jack-dodds 

Screenshot 2026 05 19 100425


   
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David Vandermeer
(@david-vandermeer)
Famed Member
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 2542
 

Just so everything is clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Yup, every morning for the past 7 decades…Thanks, David, these are great.


David Vandermeer
Corinth, Texas


   
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(@100ford2003)
Illustrious Member
Joined: 6 years ago
Posts: 13126
 

Lol, i wear a huge bib that flips over my head for corn eating days. I’ve installed LEDs for my night knoshing.



   
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