COFFEE TALK #84

This is the hardest cup of coffee I've had.  

 

BERNICE MOREY

She was born on January 21, 1921. God puts people in our lives, that many times make a profound difference. Life is like a huge puzzle with millions of pieces, some falling in to place and others eluding us before the puzzle is complete.

 

Bernice's "piece to our puzzle" is that she is responsible for putting Lorraine and I together. Bernice worked at Dayton's Department Store in downtown St. Paul in cosmetics behind the Estee Lauder counter. I was the cosmetics stock-boy and Lorraine worked Monday and Thursday evenings and on Saturday's.

Bernice lived in Cottage Grove and so did I, and we decided it made sense for us to ride/drive together to work. To say she became a friend to me, would be an understatement. She was more a mother figure that I respected so much. She knew of my different and challenging upbringing and she was often a good listener. She'd ask questions, I'd share answers.

 

Bernice was a "right to the point" person. She wasn't afraid to speak her mind and she was good at sharing her thoughts on different things. Bottom line, I enjoyed our friendship. One of the greatest compliments I ever got from her, was when she told me that, "I was like a son to her". Being she felt that way, likely was the reason that she felt Lorraine would be a good match for me.

However, my and Lorraine's paths only crossed while she was coming in to work on Monday/Thursday evenings, and it was always a "Hi Lorraine, Hi George" encounter. Bernice often told me little things about Lorraine, and how she admired her so much. I knew she was an only child, she lived with her parents and grandma, and in Bernice's words, "As sweet and as good a girl you could ever find". Bernice even coaxed me a few times while riding to work saying, "you should ask her out".

Now I'll admit, I noticed Lorraine and I thought she was cute, but the opportunity on those "I'm leaving work and she'd coming to work hello's", didn't afford the chance to ask her out.

 

I know Bernice was frustrated that I was not acting on her advice, and little did I know at the time, she'd also mentioned to Lorraine that she thought she should get together with me. This went on for a year.

Each night after work, Bernice and I had to walk about a block away to our car, and Monday October 16, 1972 Bernice casually passed me a piece of folded paper. Taking it, I asked what it was while unfolding it. Once open I saw only a "phone number", and Bernice blurted out, "Call her you coward". It was Lorraine's phone number! I remember sort of scolding Bernice, but her only response to me was, "do it".

 

I won't deny that I liked the idea of calling Lorraine, but also being honest, from the way Bernice built her up, I wondered if I was worthy of her. I was a wreck for the rest of the week. It so happened that this week was the annual Dayton's Jubilee Sale and the store was open every evening, meaning Lorraine was working.

Finally, after much anxiety all week, on Friday evening as I was leaving and Lorraine had come in, I approached her (with a lump in my throat) and asked her, "Would you like to go to the wrestling matches with me tomorrow night?". I know, I know, you're thinking, "a wrestling match", who does that? Well as it turns out, she said, "Yes sure, I'll go". That lump was now in my stomach as I muttered, "Okay, I'll call you tonight when you get off work and we'll work it out".

 

I know some will find this hard to believe, but I was in love her immediately! The next night after our date, while driving home, I thanked God for the incredible evening and prayed that I would have Lorraine in my life forever. Upon arriving home, while getting ready for bed, I turned on my stereo and put on "The Carpenter's", to which I heard Karen Carpenter sing, "Top of the World". I listened and it was my song, as I was on Top of the World.

 

Of course as they say, the rest is history. On January 12, 1974 Lorraine and I were married and are looking forward to celebrating our 50th anniversary next year. Bernice remained a constant in our thoughts and prayers, and though we didn't see her often, she was always the most important "piece to our puzzle". We'd exchange cards and notes with her, and when Lorraine was in the hospital back in 2020 with Cancer, I received a call from Bernice, inquiring about her. I assured Bernice that I was taking care of her.

Bernice kept reaching milestone birthday's and we were always so excited for her. While on our baseball trip last month, we got the sad news from her daughter-in-law Rosalind that Bernice had passed away.

 

Lorraine and both shared a hug, and I'm not ashamed to say, I shed tears. Bernice was 102 years old. To the end, she was Bernice! She was feisty, blunt, quick-witted, and for us, "so lovable". We are so blessed that she was in our lives!

 

Yesterday, September 9th, after Bernice was laid to rest in Cottage Grove. Lorraine and I were honored to share in her small celebration of life. For us, Bernice will always be the most important piece to our puzzle.

 

Lorraine crocheted a beautiful baby afghan and bonnet that we will donate in Bernice's memory to "Options for Women" in St. Paul.

We love your Bernice, THANK YOU!!!