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05/05/2026 7:22 pm
A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.
I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering.
I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.
I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”
What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.
I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.
05/05/2026 7:27 pm
Love them all but the Schwarzenegger doll is extra special.
John Bono
North Jersey
05/05/2026 9:15 pm
All funny.... I had to read #1 a few times..... 🙄 😉 😀
...and "Aisle B, back" 😎 🤣 😎
05/05/2026 9:44 pm
More great ones.😂🤣💯
05/05/2026 9:50 pm
Thanks David…funny but not funny as I almost wet myself laughing 😂 Love the grammar one best 👍🙌 You sure know how to keep us entertained so THANK-YOU !
06/05/2026 1:02 am
Lol, cute David, real cute.
06/05/2026 1:24 am
I understand 4 and 6....I have lived them; but with the rest I get nothing. Could it be me?
06/05/2026 3:01 am
06/05/2026 6:12 am
All funny.... I had to read #1 a few times..... 🙄 😉 😀
...and "Aisle B, back" 😎 🤣 😎
I had to read #1 more than once as well. "A round" instead of "around". These are all great. My favorites were "hide & seek players" and "suture self".
06/05/2026 7:55 am
David, between you and John B. you two make my day. Thank you both.
06/05/2026 9:06 am
The cornier and groanier the better for me....so I pick this one:
Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
06/05/2026 10:39 am
@perrone1 ....right! I read it and thought, "What the hell's so funny about this?'' 🤨 🤨 - THEN - "Oooooh, I get it now..." 🙄 🙄 🙄
