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Topic starter
13/05/2026 7:44 pm
1."How much do you still owe on your car?"
"Only a grudge against the man who sold it to me."
2."What are the town fathers debating?"
"Whether to keep up the good roads and fine the motorist for speeding, or leave potholes and mud holes and charge for hauling cars out."
3. Why should you marry someone older than you?
As your looks fade, so will their eyesight.
4. Why do old people smile so much?
Because they can't hear a word you are saying.
13/05/2026 9:19 pm
My favorite is number 3.
Ed Davis
Inverness, Illinois, USA
14/05/2026 4:45 am
All good...#4 rings true. Thanks David.
John Bono
North Jersey
14/05/2026 5:35 am
Why are so many people doing so many studies on me?? 
David Green and Jack Dodds reacted
14/05/2026 7:09 am
@perrone1 You are not alone. It's getting to the point that I have concluded that my intelligence is artificial.
14/05/2026 7:34 am
14/05/2026 8:53 am
@bob-jackman Just the fact that you can properly spell artificial intelligence without spell check puts you ahead of most current high school grads Bob.
14/05/2026 8:55 am
@perrone1 Why are so many people doing so many studies on me??
Not to alarm you Tony but yesterday I got a call from John Deere Mowers High Performance Division asking about you.....
14/05/2026 9:13 am
@perrone1 Why are so many people doing so many studies on me??
Not to alarm you Tony but yesterday I got a call from John Deere Mowers High Performance Division asking about you.....
DANG it! Now see, they promised to not do that. We were in the midst of negotiating a commission for the commercial I did for them. A 60 second spot on summer mowing. But they had to cut the part where I was speeding with grass flying like the Titanic blowing water as it sank; and in my hand they spotted a double martini!! They said it gives the wrong message. I tried to tell them it was just a joke and I don't drink but I knew they'd check up on me. POOP! There goes that Farrari!
Steve Jacobs and David Green reacted
14/05/2026 9:42 am
@perrone1 Tony....I'm going to call them; they aren't yet aware that you and your GRASS BLASTER (Patent: PERRONE ENTERPRISES) are solid gold for sales potential. You can expect some improved respect coming your way. Personally I think you could reverse the martini issue and maybe weave a gin commercial into the ad for a double barrel royalty.....you know....the "shaken not stirred" theme.
14/05/2026 10:31 am
Oooo, I LIKE it! A Bombay Sapphire Gin commercial featuring me mowing a yard of botanicals that, once cut, go into the gin. OMG, I'm a genius. Uh, we're genius's.
This post was modified 1 month ago by Tony Perrone
David Green and Steve Jacobs reacted
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