TWELVE LEXOPHILES

 ◾I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

 ◾England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

 ◾Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

 ◾This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I’d swear I've never met herbivore.

 ◾I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

 ◾A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

 ◾When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

 ◾I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

 ◾A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

 ◾A will is a dead giveaway.

 ◾With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

 ◾Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.