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@graeme-ogg Graeme;  I am sorry to report that on this side of the pond reviews of your deororant Odor Colon U-235 say it's the pits.  Product trial volunteers report that it has rectum for their hole life; in fact many have putin for lifelong compensation, saying they got a bum deal. 

Hey, come on, I thought a bum deal is what they were looking for! Honestly, there's no pleasing some people.

I suggest they try Chanel No 2. A bit pricey, but probably a worthwhile investment.

@graeme-ogg Be warned Graeme; I suspect the eau you show may be a knock off as Canal is misspelled on the label....

Enough of your smear tactics, if you don't mind. I took the plunge and forked out £195 for that little bottle. (And talking of "taking the plunge", that's a direct injection pump on the top, by the way. No mess, no fuss.)

£195 for that little bottle.......you always were a poodent shopper Graeme.  So I guess that would make you the opposite of Agent 007; he has an ejection seat...you have an injectio........

UPDATE:  Graeme the Think Tanked membership review board are asking if you're available for a friendly emergency Face Time call tomorrow at 0800 GMT.  They ask that you please wear your Chernobyl Elephant gear and have you missus at your side.  So nice to see them reaching out to connect with members this way; a kinder, warmer approach....and you're the first! 

Well, goodness me. Obviously I am honoured to have been invited to what I imagine would turn into a mutual brown-nosing session. This is of course a deeply appealing and innate human activity, although it has become increasingly tricky to conduct without some degree of contortion as our human posture has evolved - as illustrated by this iconic image.

Unfortunately, once again our time advantage vis-a-vis the colonies meant we were already in bed when the invitation was sent and we found the message too late to meet the early morning deadline.

In addition, my lady wife and I suffer from a severe form of social phobia (as evidenced by our yuletide subterranean social avoidance measures) and could not possibly contemplate such a feces face-to-face encounter, however well-meaning the invitation. But the Think Tanked willingness to reach out is appreciated, and by way of a goodwill gesture I attach another portrait of us in our night attire. Hi-res image, suitable for framing.

@graeme-ogg Graeme; I have been asked to convey the Review Board's heart felt thanks for the Face Time absence explanation.  Furthermore they advise that upon viewing your latest touching family photo, labelled Fartfelt Feelings, it is apparent that you are making clear minded decisions regarding family health, which gives the Board peace of mind.  Considering the degree of eye watering and nostril searing discomfort caused by the expulsion of your caustic, uncontrollable odoriferous zephyrs through every sleep phase, as further evidenced by the peeling paint of your bedroom walls, the Board feels that your GMT semi-subterranean residence is sufficient distance to facilitate safe Think Tanked membership toxicity levels and the safeguard of our club reputation.  The Board and the entire Think Tanked membership wish you the best of luck with the GMT Zone Environmental Protection Agency and Scotland Yard.  We understand, via an anonymous caller, that these agencies have invalidated your passport and hold warrants pertaining to environmental damage and attempted shotgun murder of Christmas carolers respectively, but that they just want to speak with you to settle matters informally.  The Review Board supports your participation in their desired discussion and will await your communication after whatever legal period of time is required.

Grateful thanks to all concerned for the reassurance and forgiveness.

The latter section of your post is a little out of date, as I have already had that "informal" chat with the Head of the Metropolitan Police. I prostated myself in front of him, apologised for any gestures of purely inadvertent malice towards carol singers and voluntarily handed over one of my sawn-off shotguns. We also had a nice chat about the auto-targeting cannons and rocket launchers on the front lawn, which he thought were jolly interesting pieces of kit and agreed to turn a blind eye provided I agreed to employ them in a "circumspect" manner and only in response to extreme provocation (e.g. Silent Night performed more than three times in a row with mouth organ and banjo accompaniment).

Despite my irritation at having to travel to Scotland Yard at short notice to sort this matter out, I managed to refrain from calling him a boring old fart and thanked him for his understanding approach. In return he is arranging for unlimited free supplies of NHS (National Health Service) "his'n'hers" butt plugs.

All in all, I feel flushed with success and I think we can now consider this matter closed.

("And not before bloody time", came a heartfelt chorus from the assembled company).

@graeme-ogg All in all, I feel flushed with success and I think we can now consider this matter closed.

I couldn't agree more Graeme and know we have the overwhelming support of Forum members in doing so.  Appropriate to the appropriateness of this conclusion.....I think it was The Byrds who sang...

"To everything...turd, turd, turd

there is a season...turd, turd, turd

And the purpose for Graeme's butt plug....oh thank heaven."

Enough crap already. Amen.

@graeme-ogg Just a small gesture of thanks from the Forumite membership for putting a stop to it all and restoring good taste Graeme.  They trust its color matches your eyes.....

LE FIN

Thank-you ! 🙏 And now back to our regular programming. 👍

@100ford2003 I for one am glad it's over....it was deep stuff......